12 December 2014

Why Are Most Lesbians Fat and Heavy?

Fat and Heavy
Has anybody seen a hot and sexy lesbian that men would be happy spend some time with? The character that Léa Seydoux played in the movie “Blue is the Warmest Color” could be considered as one, but seriously, have you seen a real sexy lesbian aside from the characters that you see on television or movies?

If you have, then consider yourself lucky because they are a rare specimen. Lesbians nowadays are either as fat as a walrus or somebody that got kicked in the face by a donkey. If you are a man, would you like to sleep with Rosie O'Donnell or Martina Navratilova? No way! Maybe Ellen DeGeneres is an exception.

Men are visual creatures. They want their partners to have class. That’s one explanation why men are generally not attracted to somebody who looked like fat lumps of Shitty Putty in hockey jerseys and 80′s hairstyles.

Boston researchers determined that lesbians were more than twice as likely as straight women to be obese. According to a report published in the American Journal of Public Health, after scrutinizing a health survey of more than 67,000 Massachusetts residents between the ages of 18 and 64, the researchers found that 26 percent of lesbians were found to be obese, as compared with 17 percent of the straight women.

But do these lesbians tried to look fat, heavy and elephant-like? Nobody can really tell, but maybe, just maybe, because they want to piss men off.

Men like sex and skinny women. And since granting or withholding things men like is women's only means of survival, becoming a fat lesbian is by female logic (or lack thereof), a fantastic idea. Why trap one man in a marriage where and become fat and obnoxious and deny him sex, when you can be fat and obnoxious and deny sex to ALL men everywhere simultaneously.

Another theory is that maybe most fat and obese lesbians thought that they can attract a woman by becoming a walking walrus.

A study commissioned to mark the DVD release of "Bad Neighbours," revealed that three in four British women would choose a man with love handles over one sporting a six-pack. This study could have motivated the lesbians not to want to develop those perfect feminine curves.

One last theory involves sex and chocolate. Biological women want two things in their lives: sex and chocolate. Lesbians can’t perform the actual sex with deep penetration of a natural organ, unless you count fingers covered in latex gloves as one, then that leaves only the chocolate.

A blogger offered this scenario:
"Imagine if you were a Ken doll and after five years of __ck-teasing, you really wanted to stick it to Barbie in the way that only a man can. That’s manly even for dolls. Well you couldn’t because you don’t have a __ck. If you were a Ken doll, you would head over to the Dream Pub and drown your __ckless sorrows. If you were a lesbian, however, you’d drown yourself in a pool of chocolate and carbs."